Archive for December, 2016

Four years ago as far as I am concerned, you left us and joined Christopher in Heaven and left this world a little less brighter, less funny and a whole lot sadder. There isn’t a day that my thoughts and heart don’t drift to thoughts of you.

I wish everyone could have known you for the person you kept hidden. But that wasn’t important to you was it? You only cared about what the people who loved and knew you best thought about you. You had your own code and you followed it regardless if what others thought.

You were like Christopher in so many ways,  when you were friends with someone, you were all in, you never left anyone down if they needed a hand. You would drop anything if a friend needed you, or your brothers or sister for that matter.  You loved deeply and with all you heart you just went about it quietly, with no fanfare.

After your death, I received so many messages from some of your friends telling me how you were always there for them, no matter what time it was, if they called needing help, you were there. One person who had only met you recently told me how she wanted to die, she called everyone she knew but didn’t get any to answer her cry for help. As a last resort, she called you, someone she knew for less than a week and you went and sat with her all night. You saved her life! You never spoke about what you did.

I miss you so much, your crazy laugh and und unassuming manner. I’d give anything to hear you tell me once more, “It is what it is, so don’t worry Mom”.

While Christopher was my fellow lover of all left turns and taking the road less traveled, you were the watcher, the silent one who stood guard over all of us, making sure we were protected and safe to the best of your ability.

With Christopher it was all about noise and chaos. You were the one whom I could be quiet with and just BE in the moment with.  There was no noise and drama, just blissful peace and quiet. It is a gift to be perfectly content in the sounds of silence and we were good at it.

One of the things you did perfectly was surrounding yourself with the best of friends who are now a part of our family.  They NEVER forget Michael, NEVER, not you or Christopher.  They are always there for us, in spirit and body. Last year on the anniversary of Christopher’s death, they came over, made brunch for us, cleaned up and bought flowers for me.  Michael, the very best gift you left us are your friends.  They are, bar none, the BEST!

You took a piece of my heart with you when you left us Michael and I will never be completely whole, but I know you will keep it safe for me until we meet again. When I join you and Christopher we are going to find us a mountain and just sit in peace and blissful silence, content in simply being together again.

I love you and miss you more than words can express. Keep watch over and protect us Michael cause sometimes, it gets really hard to take that next step and breath. Keep safe all those who are in need, just as you did when you were here physically, especially Brittany, she misses and needs her big brothers, show her that you are always near.

Love you to the moon and back my quiet man!

Until we meet again, I will forever be missing you.


Read Full Post »