Archive for May, 2012

How do you explain happiness? How do you find this elusive fleeting most important part of our everyday lives? Or at least, most of us think this is the most important.

There are so many quotes about happiness, finding it, keeping it and just being….well, happy.

Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier.  The way it actually works is the reverse.  You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.  ~Margaret Young

This could be true when you think about it, we work hard for something we may have one day in the distant future when we are finished accumulating all that we think we need to achieve the ultimate goal, the great destination of being HAPPY. Here’s another quote about that as well:

Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.  ~Nathaniel Hawthorne

I have heard this quote pretty much my whole life. I even believed it. I don’t anymore. I can’t. I just don’t believe. and there lies the crux of the problem. I want to believe. I need to believe. I yearn to put those rose colored glasses of mine on again, but “IT”, whatever it was that let me see the goodness and kindness in people and life is gone. How do you find something that was second nature to you and something that came as naturally as breathing. I didn’t set out to see the good, I just did. And now I am lost and adrift in a sea of sadness and grief that knows no bounds. And I just don’t know what to do about it.

I am missing, wanting, yearning for something, someone, that I can never have again. And NO, memories are no solace for this grief, this pain. It is as unrelenting as the sea crashing against the shore. It can’t be stopped, it doesn’t yield, it just comes at me in waves and waves of crushing pain.




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